Potty training a toddler PART 2 - Poop training

(Have you read Part 1 of the potty training series yet? Go HERE to learn how I got rid of diapers and trained my toddler to pee in the toilet!)

Just before my mom started potty training Krishna, we bought a potty seat reducer, thinking he could sit on the toilet to poop. I remember coolly telling her that poop training would be a breeze because he usually gave really obvious cues like a certain face expression and/or trying to find a private corner and just standing there. I wish I could go back and whack myself. This was the hardest thing I have ever done.

Till I left India to go back to France with my baby, Krishna refused to have anything to do with the seat reducer. He would just hold it in till it got unbearable and then have accidents in his underwear.

I spoke to my paediatrician and she advised offering a diaper for him to poop in. She reminded me that poop isn't as instant as pee and that freaks some kids out. But he didn't want a diaper either since by then I had given birth and "diapers are for babies."

So I just persisted and kept cleaning up accident after accident while staying alert for his cues and constantly offering a small potty seat he could squat on instead of a reducer. At one point we had one in every room! It was frustrating because I also had a newborn and it was SO hard but I tried not to be angry. I did point out though that this was really tough to clean and that it would be easier if he just went on his potty seat. We read some books too about kids using the potty.

It clicked after almost a month and he started going on the potty seat about 50% of the time. I didn't overdo the praise, but again spoke about how easy this was to clean and that it was good that he was trying.

And now, about 6 months after he was pee trained I can say that Krishna is 100% potty trained, two months before his third birthday. He always tells me he has to pee or poop and follows through. No accidents of any kind in several weeks, despite more travelling and currently living in a different house with a new potty seat.

There's one major piece of advice I can give about potty training, especially with regards to poop: be patient. It is easy to resort to sticker charts and punishments and quick fix methods but ultimately the child has to learn about his bodily functions on his own and that won't happen if you are not consistent and persistent and as gentle as humanly possible.

Who knows maybe your kid will take less time than mine did. Or more. Whatever. Just go with the 'flow'! ;)

Potty training a toddler PART 1 - Pee training

I'll be honest here - I have next to nothing to do with my son being potty trained. Most of this post is being brought to you by my mom who is the one who began the process with Krishna.

I had done a lot of research about elimination communication when Krishna was a baby where you basically train the baby from birth or slightly older. I thought it sounded very cool but I soon realised that I didn't want to spend all day staring at my infant for "cues" and honestly diapers were too damn convenient.

Then came my Montessori phase. I read some excellent blog posts about potty training and decided I would go that route when Krishna was around one. I bought training pants and potties, set up a potty training station at several places in my apartment. This was an epic fail. I ended up with pee everywhere and a kid who wanted nothing to do with the potty and I gave up a few days in.

So this basically leads me to tip #1: Potty training is easiest when the child is old enough to verbally communicate they need to pee or poop and to walk to the toilet by himself/herself.

When I moved to India to have my second baby my mom was appalled that Krishna wasn't potty trained yet at almost 2 years old. She promised me that she would train him in April and that he would be off diapers in a month. Did it work? Yup! But he wasn't fully 100% potty trained till December.

Tip #2: It takes time. Yes, I know you heard about that 3 day method. Yes, it works. Sort of. I have a friend who tried it with great success. But the kid still wore diapers on outings and at night and on holiday. That really shouldn't count as trained now should it?!

Here's what my mom did when Krishna was 2 years and 3 months old - she threw all his diapers away. She told him he doesn't need them anymore and would wear underwear henceforth.

Tip #3: Be badass like my mom and go cold turkey. Once you say bye to diapers don't look back.

The first few days he just peed right through the undies and left puddles everywhere which my mom cleaned up without any scolding or shaming. He slowly started recognising the sensation of urinating and started exclaiming "oh I'm doing a pee pee!" Mom also took him to the loo every few hours and tried to encourage him to pee. Right from the beginning she encouraged him to use the toilet to do his stuff rather than a tiny potty. She just set up a stool so he could pee directly into the toilet. It genuinely worked! After a week or so he would pee most of the times she took him and in another fortnight he started saying he had to pee.

Tip #4: That 100th puddle of pee will almost kill you. Be gentle. It is a slow slow slooooooooow process.

What about nights you ask? We took him to pee just before he went for a nap or to sleep. At night my mom took him to pee just before she went to bed as well, around 11pm. This helped keep him dry at night and taught me that a fully asleep child can actually pee in command. Totally cool and incredibly creepy. Naps weren't as easy. If he happened to wake from a nap he would pee immediately. But that stopped within a couple of weeks.

Tip #5: Do the midnight pee. It totally works. I think we had like one accident at night. ONE!

We did have a few accidents when out because Krishna was too distracted to tell us or didn't realise till he had already peed. One of these was at the visa office. Embarrassing man! But within 2 months of his being pee trained we travelled from India to France which is about 15-16 hours total. We survived on 1 pair of underwear!!!

A few weeks later, we stopped the 11pm pee too. Not a single accident!!! That's when I realised that my mom's method had worked! Krishna was successfully pee trained at 2.5!

Poop training however took time and that's too long a story to fit in this post. So come back for part 2 in a few days!!